Unclean
by dazai-san
Summary: In the aftermath of Mifune's death, Death the Kid realizes that Black Star hasn't been coping as well as he'd hoped. (Homosexuality, swearing, trigger warning. DeathStar, one-shot.)


**Trigger warning. Homosexuality.**

~oOo~

Black Star knows he's not the cleanest nor the neatest person on the planet. He knows that he's never been obsessed about being ridiculously clean, either; he cares about basic hygiene, but that's about it. He knows all of this, and doesn't really give a damn.

But he _knows_ his hands are filthy, and he can't bear touching _anything_ with them until they're pristine again, so he washes them meticulously, washes them until his hands are bleeding, red like the color they should be—and Black Star flinches at the sight of his hands coated in blood _(not because it hurts, never because it hurts_ ) before drying off his hands and losing what little lunch he'd eaten prior in the toilet. Then he wraps them with bandages, because they're pure white and clean, unlike the filth that covers his hands.

He avoids Angela like the plague, and as soon as she enters the room he'll immediately head towards the bathroom. Soul gives him an unreadable look every time, red eyes _(the color of the blood that coats his hands, taunting him and making sure that he knows that Black Star is dirty, the lowest of the low)_ following him out, but he doesn't see Soul tell Death the Kid something into his ear, nor does he see Kid tense in anger.

And it's not because he's scared of Angela, nor is he scared of the fact that she may be angry at him—it's to repent, and as blood runs down the sink, he thinks that maybe he's paying her back in his own blood and misery.

~oOo~

"What do you think you're doing?"

Black Star flinches violently as Death the Kid walks up behind him, hand on his elbow and pulling him back. Much to his obvious embarrassment, he stumbles slightly.

"Jesus fuck," Kid hisses as he forcibly turns his hands upward to inspect the damage. "What have you done to yourself?"

Black Star says nothing as Kid shuts off the (hot) water and carefully wraps bandages around his hands, and he's fucking _pissed_ , and Kid doesn't care at all how it shows.

He pulls him out of the bathroom, dragging Black Star past the living room and into Black Star's room, where the meister forces him to take a seat on his bed and shuts the door behind him.

"You haven't been yourself recently," Kid snaps, annoyance lacing his voice. "What, exactly, is your problem?"

Black Star is silent, doesn't look away from the ground.

Kid sighs. "This is about Mifune, isn't it." It isn't a question, and Black Star nods timidly, meekly, terribly unlike how he normally acts.

He walks over to the bed, and Black Star cringes slightly. Kid sits next to him before pulling him into a hug, burying his face in the spiky locks. "Your hands are clean. You're clean. Don't worry about it. If you hadn't killed him, then we would've had a lot more trouble to deal with, and some of us might've died as well."

Black Star doesn't pull away or squirm, just falling limp with a deep sigh. He says nothing.

"Oh, you moron." Kid huffs slightly. "Don't do this to yourself. Please."

Black Star twitches slightly, makes a slight noise of protest at the insult, but stays quiet, eerily quiet. The Shinigami wannabe frowns slightly.

"Just cry already, you idiot. It's long overdue."

"…don't want to," Black Star mumbles, though the sound of his voice is wet.

Kid turns him around so Black Star's facing him, though his eyes are anywhere but in his, so he turns his face gently towards his. "Listen, you idiot. You're not at fault here. Mifune probably wanted to die an honorable death, and you gave him that. Quit blaming yourself."

With that said, Kid pulls him into another embrace, feels Black Star trembling, even if it's only a little. He makes no comment on it, and like water in a dam, the tears spill forth, and soon Black Star's clearly chewing on his tongue to muffle the sobbing.

Once the sobbing has lessened to just whimpers and pitiful noises, Kid sighs and pulls away, ruffling Black Star's messy hair. "Sleep," Kid tells him. "You'll feel better when you wake up."

Black Star fidgets slightly, even though it's clear he's sleepy. "C-can you not tell anyone… you know…" His embarrassment is distinct.

"The crying? I won't tell. But the self-harm I'm telling. Go to sleep."

Meekly, Black Star falls onto the bed, pulling up the covers. Within seconds, he's asleep, and Kid watches fondly.

He'll be alright, Kid decides.


End file.
